I feel a lot of things
And I feel a lot of things all the time
Theres not always a safe space to express them
And I drank an 11 dollar ****** ***** martini tonight
Because I really wanted to try and be my best me.

My limbs rest and glide upon
A soft hazel conundrum
Of astounding support and a wide gaping
Internal struggle
A struggle to be and exist
In the most invested and sincere way
To create, give, and provide
And its true
I know no one else sees it
But I look at myself now
And fear whats here
Whats coming
What was
What is.

And I charge ahead
With my phrases
That provide a safety net
For what could, whats well kept
And nobody else here would know
Or maybe they sense it
And thats why they are so drawn
To my own interior monster.

I know we all feel it
We feel useless at times
Like no good
The least unique
I wonder if I will grow old
Highlighting the wonder and beauty of others
And it makes my girlfriends and I wail
That such a troll
Could seek vengeance on national television
Against another woman's
Husband’s
Misdemeanors.
And simply state
He has not
It was nothing
But just
Boys will be boys
Talk.

But no one can say that
No one can really point out
Just how ****** up
And triggering
Heart wrenching
And shaky she must have felt
To have the love of her life
Sit in the audience
With those
He may or may not
Have touched
Without her grace.

I'm just angry sometimes
I get pink and feel hot
I would have been a terrific lawyer
My mother goes to court for charges
Against a violent and cut throat neighbor
The day after my screening
In the month of November

And the world wonders
Why are women so angry?

So get your ******* keys back
Not because I'm worried you want her ***** more than mine
But because I'm here now
And what we share
Is for us to define.