Oct 2016
it's hard to have a healthy amount of self love when you do not have a healthy amount of knowledge pertaining to who you happen to be.
when I'm nervous I laugh in the most awkward way, like all the things I'm insecure about don't really matter and its not hard for me to find the right way to explain "this isn't okay and i am not okay"
i tripped over the loose threads of my mind and now i'm stuck without an idea of how to get up. Looking at loose ends and piecing myself together is much more fun.
everything i say is in stutters
it is slow and awkward and sounds so unrehearsed even though i ran the lines 800 times. I just wasn't ready for the way the audience would look at me i wasnt ready for how much id care about their opinions.
"Im punk rock I do what I want" if you know me I've said that to you.
*******.
"Im unsure of who I am in my entirety, I'll do what you want me to if youll help me figure myself out. I'll probably do what you want anyways because I like it when you're happy but I don't know how to make anyone happy without first fumbling don't worry you yourself are fine you're wonderful really I'd like to be comfortable around you it's not you it's me I'm a ******* cliche hahaha wouldnt it just be best for us all if i rendered my tongue unable to move yes i think so too shut off the gears in my mind while we are at it sorry sorry sorry sorry"
Punk rock is unapologetic. I am anything but.
"Atlas, you're so quiet"
You'd be too if any time you opened your mouth an inadequate jumble of stststutteradjectiveadjectivenounverb wait no itsitsitsitsidontknow with the subtext (sorryimnotgoodenoughpleasedontrealizeit) fell out.
when I'm nervous I laugh in the most awkward way, like all the things I'm insecure about don't really matter and its not hard for me to find the right way to explain "this isn't okay and i am not okay"
i tripped over the loose threads of my mind and now i'm stuck without an idea of how to get up. Looking at loose ends and piecing myself together is much more fun.
everything i say is in stutters
it is slow and awkward and sounds so unrehearsed even though i ran the lines 800 times. I just wasn't ready for the way the audience would look at me i wasnt ready for how much id care about their opinions.
"Im punk rock I do what I want" if you know me I've said that to you.
*******.
"Im unsure of who I am in my entirety, I'll do what you want me to if youll help me figure myself out. I'll probably do what you want anyways because I like it when you're happy but I don't know how to make anyone happy without first fumbling don't worry you yourself are fine you're wonderful really I'd like to be comfortable around you it's not you it's me I'm a ******* cliche hahaha wouldnt it just be best for us all if i rendered my tongue unable to move yes i think so too shut off the gears in my mind while we are at it sorry sorry sorry sorry"
Punk rock is unapologetic. I am anything but.
"Atlas, you're so quiet"
You'd be too if any time you opened your mouth an inadequate jumble of stststutteradjectiveadjectivenounverb wait no itsitsitsitsidontknow with the subtext (sorryimnotgoodenoughpleasedontrealizeit) fell out.
