8 pm in your car no music, just screaming. screaming because this isn't who you are. this isn't what you do. punch the steering wheel because you've worked hard to keep this facade going. screaming turns into crying. crying because this front is eating you alive. you don't want to but you do. let the tears roll down your cheeks. the pride rushing out because thats what your full of. do this the whole drive to the parking lot to meet up with your friends. scream. cry. scream. cry. cry. cry. compose yourself as you park next to them and get out to join the circle that has formed. ignore the weird looks friends are giving you because you "just don't seem like yourself." don't look. don't smile even though he's smiling at you. don't acknowledge anything. don't lean closer when he's next to you. don't think about how he makes you feel like jess from new girl. don't listen to the nice promises he whispers in your ear in the back of the car. you were so good at not taking anything to heart so don't stop now. don't let it affect you. don't let him affect you. remember how you felt the last time you delved into something that just wasn't. don't let a boy have that power over you. be the brick wall. don't let him break you.