spinning around through suicidal sounds
i’m feeling my false heartbeat
and baiting boys with throat noise

i admit

i’m an irresponsible owner
of this machine i call a body
ripping down and burning the curtains
that cover the window to my sunny womanhood
spitting acid through the wind
and blaring reverse funeral music

i’m back to writing in shades of red
i’m ******* sonnets and addressing them
to wherever the hell my family’s mental health is

this year, September wrote its own bird song
and i’m using Beer Bottle Birth Control

tonight Privilege is sponsoring
my pathetic recklessness


the wind is no longer gold dust and baby teeth
instead it's shaking for my dignity