like this spruce tree and
rose bush behind me
that only i can see
i want my sobriety to grow
and unlike my using
i will let everyone know

when i was digging
my own grave
i was living in doubt
but learning these steps
recovery will get me out

my name is khaled and i'm a ******
what's left to say?
i believe more in my doubt
which makes it hard to pray

if i don't help myself
why the hell should God?
if i need to keep my head up
why do i love to nod?

why do i poke my skin
to feel what i've never had?
when i'm missing my addiction
more than not having a dad

wishing i'd never tried hard
instead tried harder

as my regret washes away
like the dope in my veins
i feel i'm burning in the spoon
'cause i lie when i pray

my stomach starts to ache
i feel i should get high
a needle to fix my pain
a needle to stay alive

i die a little more
with a point
i hate to understand
i find serenity in believing
i can become a new man