I hurt. I just really hurt. He hurt me. They hurt me. Them hurt me. They all hurt me.
Of course this is right after they tell me how amazing I am, how different and beautiful I am.
So then what the hell happens in their intellect next when they decide they have me and then cut me loose.
When I finally decide to trust again thats when they get you the most.
When they dangle you in front of their compliments and then just let go as quickly as they first had you.
When does this cycle actually end.
Is it even worth the physical emotional love and knowing someone.
The pain is almost too much to bear yet we keep doing it again and again and again.
People like me never win.
The ones who would do anything for a perfect stranger they just met.
We're truly the best people in the world, the most beautiful creatures, but this world is so so so cruel.
The ones who love God, the ones who fall away to earthly things so easily.
Struggling and trying so hard not to drown from trying to be both.
Knowing what the answer is but still fighting the tired urges of the body to just feel better somehow.
What is there for us to do, what can we do.
To escape the hurt for just one second.
Chain smoking cigarettes to get any high at all, to escape the inevitable labyrinth at all.
Wine bottle after wine bottle, only to realize that God is the only answer the next morning.