my friends never liked you,
said you were the reason
I was desperately trying to shrink

I could so easily blame them
for the way I grew,
every bite a stab to the throat

those days were spent
muffling your words
before being silenced by my friends

these days I scream for them
and hear only the echos
of my shameless desperation

your voice is the only one
that calls back
in a confidence I don't recognize

they won't know
when we hide away
for a few days next week

the contoured faces will scrunch
after my wine-soaked lips
sink my not-relationship

I'll honestly apologize
for trying to call them
before running his way