there's a blunt out back,
that's got my name on it,
i need this time
to chill
and remember the goodness,
the parties
where girls danced up on me,
their ***** on my ****,
and their hips in my fingertips,
the girls that smelled like coconut
when their ******* smelled like ***,
but they were good,
****,
they loved me
for me,
and i'd curl their hair
in my fingertips
like a sadist
twirls hearts.

Me and the lil homies
chilled in the back,
smoking
while their moms
screamed at us,
talking about cops
and ******* **** up,
we just chilled there,
passing the L
and feeling ourselves
because the **** was good
and the girls
were around
to let us know
that we could touch
something
inside another person.

i'd come home
and my ma
would start in on me,
i'd end up in the hospital
with a few
neighbors
in my icu crew,
so maybe i'd end up
a **** up,
but me and the lil homies
liked to fight,
we'd go in until
one of us was ******
then we'd get drunk
and rowdy,
trying to put to sleep
the fear
inside of us.