These days,
when I'm feeling alone
   or finally excited, again
or have a thought to
  hear your
               voice,

I get the urge to pick up the phone
       and call you
for a
second, only a
passing
          moment,
as quick as the light of a match before
      I remember
you died, last
winter and I slept in the
hospital
for weeks

Instinct hasn't caught up to
   reality

     yet