As I paint my mind with nostalgia, the memories flood through. These thoughts keep me in an infinite loop of regret. It's been so long since I've seen you, but I understand we became toxic. I suffer from each memory, laughing like it happened yesterday, but crying because it happened a year ago. This pain never weakens, I just become resilient to the constant reminder that I ****** up. If my words never meant anything, than I'm left with a blank page and emotions I cannot decipher. I get anxiety when I feel you're close to me, but I also get excited knowing that I might actually get to see you. I've had my wrongs in the past, but each one is replayed... Each one is my imprisoned thought.