Their going away for a bit. My best friend. Everyone's a killer but a few won't harm. I know I probably need to go the same route. I don't see a higher up anymore and I can't just tell my parents that I have severe delusions and that I want to end it all without having an intense conversation and in the end, everyone is crying. All this **** I've bottled up over the years is going to come back to haunt me, it's already in purgorty, I'm just waiting for it to come for me. I don't care about him anymore, he used people anyway it seemed. But I still want more.
I want to make custom jewelry out of empty, ripped soda cans, so that I can be the only one who gets to hurt my body. I'd be able to catch both my tears and blood in the same glass, both merging with one another. I'd swirl it in my hand and ask,"Is this what you wanted?" If also respond with,"Yes."
15 years of living and it's gotten worse. 15 years of questioning who I am and my purpose in this world. 15 years and I'm trying to figure what was and wasn't passed down mentally from my family's sides. 15 year old, and I keep asking myself if I'm going to live to see another 15. Hell, my aunt keeps saying she's going to die young, why can't I?
The moral of the story, is to know what you're doing. Try to not be impulsive like me, craving all that sweet sweet attention, good or bad, and try to be as stable as possible. But, if your mind has earthquakes like mine, you're probably ******.