Sep 2016
Fruitless, feeling worthless, looking towards religion for a purpose. Lost and afraid, wanting so badly to be remade. I've been taken over, empty third person view, yeah it's like I'm an aliens host. Possessed by this oppressive world, not to be cliche but I feel like a victim and this world is a vindictive vandal. Love and hatred, peace like a dove chocked out by this disease called humanity. Sorrow for tomorrow, misery for today, ***** Annie man, there is no sun coming up any day for me; for every day is gray. Feel so betrayed, life has gone astray, what once was bright is beginning to fade. Coast to coast, while finical eyes search for meaningless materials, I search for answers and finding this so called Holy Ghost.
Life is no more than a rigged scandal, that fools think they can fool or handle it. There is nothing to lose, except everything; how can one leap with faith when their neck is tied by a noose. What ever happened to dignity? What ever happened to honesty? Tell me where I can find your valour or vanity? Crazy that this is what we deem as sanity, pride collapsing on us as if it were gravity. Cross the sky, eye for an eye, so blinded and entitled; thinking we deserve an answer for why we are here. Lost we have become, every heart beats it's final beat, everyone will strum their final strum. At what cost will we test the bounds? At what point point did we stop thinking outside the box? Love & suicide, passion and ignorance, welcome to hell this will be your final residence. Breathe or heave when you start to realize you would not be than to be.
Sorry if my words bring gloom instead of glee, but that's just how I sometimes be. I want to be a better man, but for the time I'll keep on being a nothing man. Isn't it something? I don't really think so! It stinks, I hate being that low, truth is life doesn't give out hand outs. Oh I'm still alive, pretending life is fine, no heroes here, so don't think I'll put my life on the line. Love or hate me, decorate me or eat me, not a Barbie girl, so in other words you can't ***** with me. Alone, need to phone home like E.T, I got no self esteem, stay up late watching B.E.T. How do I fight off this pain, how can I erase the lie's that penetrate my membrane. How can I fight off what was done, how do I keep myself from blowing brains out with a gun. So far gone, got my head up into the clouds. Smoke and mirrors, wondering how I can conquer my insecurities and fears. So far down, so please console with me, before I jump off the ledge and plummet to the ground.
On search for immortality, because I'm scarred to die, the thought sometimes makes me cry. The life in my shoes can fit many, some crops wilt where others thrive abundantly and produce plenty. I look on the other side of that fence, and long for that same type of satisfaction. Jealous, over-zealous, longing for happiness that left me to die in my already deep grave. Oh hope, is such a pitiful fatal attraction, feeding my inner demons, eternally wandering this mortal dominion. Life and times of a dying man. How time flies by so quickly. How times do change. What was deemed acceptable is now deemed inappropriate or inhumane. Rights and equality, gay pride, and wearing less and less clothes by the minute. If you ask me if your wearing that little amount of clothes you might as well wear none at all. Once upon a time in a cultured simple world, you were born, got married at twenty, and had kids, then one day you fall down and never get up.
Unless your like me, just a stubborn old crotchety ****. Haha, I can laugh at it now. When I was a young hip to be square scallywag that thrived to do nothing but misbehave. Oh those were the good times. No care in the world. Thinking that we would never get this old. Making fun of the ones who were. How the pendulum has shifted. How the ones who are left no longer laugh. As the heart monitor beeps ever so softly. As our breathing becomes non-existent. As the weight of the world shuts our eyes tight. Till there is nothing but silence and tears of family members. Some don't have that luxury. Some die alone. With no one to cry for them. It's so sad; really. Like I'm not the nicest most approachable guy but at least I know what's left of my family will be there for me. Nothing more I could ask for or even deserve. This is tale of a dying man. See you on the other side. Wherever that may be. But for now I say goodbye, and thank you, for taking time to read my story.
Life is no more than a rigged scandal, that fools think they can fool or handle it. There is nothing to lose, except everything; how can one leap with faith when their neck is tied by a noose. What ever happened to dignity? What ever happened to honesty? Tell me where I can find your valour or vanity? Crazy that this is what we deem as sanity, pride collapsing on us as if it were gravity. Cross the sky, eye for an eye, so blinded and entitled; thinking we deserve an answer for why we are here. Lost we have become, every heart beats it's final beat, everyone will strum their final strum. At what cost will we test the bounds? At what point point did we stop thinking outside the box? Love & suicide, passion and ignorance, welcome to hell this will be your final residence. Breathe or heave when you start to realize you would not be than to be.
Sorry if my words bring gloom instead of glee, but that's just how I sometimes be. I want to be a better man, but for the time I'll keep on being a nothing man. Isn't it something? I don't really think so! It stinks, I hate being that low, truth is life doesn't give out hand outs. Oh I'm still alive, pretending life is fine, no heroes here, so don't think I'll put my life on the line. Love or hate me, decorate me or eat me, not a Barbie girl, so in other words you can't ***** with me. Alone, need to phone home like E.T, I got no self esteem, stay up late watching B.E.T. How do I fight off this pain, how can I erase the lie's that penetrate my membrane. How can I fight off what was done, how do I keep myself from blowing brains out with a gun. So far gone, got my head up into the clouds. Smoke and mirrors, wondering how I can conquer my insecurities and fears. So far down, so please console with me, before I jump off the ledge and plummet to the ground.
On search for immortality, because I'm scarred to die, the thought sometimes makes me cry. The life in my shoes can fit many, some crops wilt where others thrive abundantly and produce plenty. I look on the other side of that fence, and long for that same type of satisfaction. Jealous, over-zealous, longing for happiness that left me to die in my already deep grave. Oh hope, is such a pitiful fatal attraction, feeding my inner demons, eternally wandering this mortal dominion. Life and times of a dying man. How time flies by so quickly. How times do change. What was deemed acceptable is now deemed inappropriate or inhumane. Rights and equality, gay pride, and wearing less and less clothes by the minute. If you ask me if your wearing that little amount of clothes you might as well wear none at all. Once upon a time in a cultured simple world, you were born, got married at twenty, and had kids, then one day you fall down and never get up.
Unless your like me, just a stubborn old crotchety ****. Haha, I can laugh at it now. When I was a young hip to be square scallywag that thrived to do nothing but misbehave. Oh those were the good times. No care in the world. Thinking that we would never get this old. Making fun of the ones who were. How the pendulum has shifted. How the ones who are left no longer laugh. As the heart monitor beeps ever so softly. As our breathing becomes non-existent. As the weight of the world shuts our eyes tight. Till there is nothing but silence and tears of family members. Some don't have that luxury. Some die alone. With no one to cry for them. It's so sad; really. Like I'm not the nicest most approachable guy but at least I know what's left of my family will be there for me. Nothing more I could ask for or even deserve. This is tale of a dying man. See you on the other side. Wherever that may be. But for now I say goodbye, and thank you, for taking time to read my story.
