And nothing makes sense to me anymore,
It all used to seem connected,
Seemingly random occurrences
With an underlying conspiracy.
Yet as I walk about, playing the hand I’m dealt,
It all seems fake.
And I just want to die,
For if all’s true, there’s paradise.
I’m weak, no convictions,
A stuck pariah, son of perdition,
I’ve an evil mind because of what replaced my calloused heart.
Indifference and rage are two of two
Emotions existing here yet through,
I grow tired of these faces,
Weary with apprehension,
Out of my graces,
And hateful of attention.
Exterminate, annihilate, eradicate me,
Leave me out of this creation,
My pity is a dry well,
No sympathy for a societal castration.
I observed the worst in all of us,
Especially in my self,
How can you focus on happiness,
When your own wickedness swells?
**** sadness, I’m hateful,
I prove it with distasteful
Demonstrations of reflected ugliness,
Angry at the world, I have your heart in my fist.
I’m dead to you?
I’m ******* dead to myself,
Burn the corpse and raise up hell,
I’ll make a martyr out of you.