my body craves your touch
like i crave a bottle of scotch.

i know that your love is toxic,
but my body yearns to possess you until i see fit.

i know such thoughts lead to oblivion,
and i want to be healthy and whole.

on most days, i desire to be known fully as i am.
i desire for genuine connection,
and not mere obsession.

but somedays, the old crazy needy me comes out.
behind that dark figure lies a lonely boy desiring to be loved,
yearning to be held, and wanting to accepted as he is.

i embrace myself with all my heart,
all of me, the crazy me, the sad little boy,
and me just trying to grow and heal.

i desire to love and be loved.
i am loved.
i will someday be united
with the Beloved.  
Till then, happy trails.