It's the feeling you get
When the weight of the world is crashing down on you.
When suddenly the air is stolen from your lungs
And your heart is coughed up, still beating but crying out in pain.
It's when your gasps for breath take in the fogginess of your brain
and being sliced through with a blade of steel would cause less pain.
It's when
your heart breaks.
The world stops breathing
You stop listening to its beat, beat, beating.
Because there is no way in this moment that people are smiling, or happy, or complete.
It's that moment of absolute silence,
when the ticking of the clock and your heart stop beating in tandem.
And you want desperately to grab onto the hands of time. Grip onto the hands of your lost lover.
And turn back time.
And relive every happy moment.
Again and again.
It's when you're in a concrete castle.
Completely aware of the people around you,
but unwilling to reach out for help.
Completely isolated and confined
Wanting and waiting and hoping and dreaming for that moment when the concrete castle crumbles
People come to comfort you,
the hands on the clock start turning forward
your heart stops screaming,
and you can breathe in life again.