Things About Me That Are Exponentially Special:
1. The cadence of my speech
2. The love that I have to give
3. The way that I can make someone feel like they are the only person in the room
4. My imagination
5. My innate ability to get **** done
6. My tattoos
7. The very large birth mark on the inside of my right lower leg
8. I've never had cavities
9. Never broken any limbs
10. The platform I've created and stood behind
11. Bama. Philly/NYC. Chicago.
12. I've been loved really quite abundantly by men, even if they were the wrong men.
13. My parents are in a loving sustainable marriage
14. I have two brothers. In order to survive I spent all of my time with them. Video games. Sports. Adventuring. I lived a double life of gaming and playing dress up or entertaining myself with my imagination because I didn't have a play mate.
15. Because of this I consider myself to be a pretty singular individual
16. I thrive as a born leader in group settings without even meaning to
17. I can radiate at any moment and bring people to me
18. I'm very emotionally sensitive and temperamental
19. I founded a film festival right out of college
20. I moved away and left everything behind twice before the age of 25
21. I feel the most me with colorfully customized hair and stiletto nails
22. I dress in a different style according to my mood every single day
23. I never do my make up the same way twice
24. I think I might be pretty good at social media
25. I held a camera in my hands and made incredibly specific barbie videos of the world around me and found my way back to it
26. I have dabbled in just about every artistic medium
27. My mother and I could not be more different. And in some ways, similar
28. I greatly admire my father but also narrow my eyes at times.
29. I speak up when no one else will.
30. I have close friends all over the US.
31. I have traveled most said places in US
32. I feel the need to go travel abroad
33. I think I might have finally found "my person"
34. Unless its a direct quote or word, any time I use quotation marks--I delete them. Something feels discrediting or mocking about them
35. I have had *** with men of various ethnicities, and I love that so ******* much.
36. I'm a better me when I have time to work out every day
37. I'm learning to find moments to sit still and meditate once daily
38. I'm a total ******* and its all pointed inward
39. When I was a kid I played out intense sketches with friends where I would be assassinated in said sketches
40. I've been going through a phase lately where I think 99 percent of people are full of ****. I realized tonight while washing my face that although this might be true (totes is) that fear may also be internally within me.
41. Before a big project, I become very self loathing and dark. Fear of it never being realized grips me very tightly. I do not show this to others.
42. I tried to **** myself a few times when I was a teen.
43. I had never done hard drugs until I moved to Chicago
44. I like what I like and don't ever apologize for it. I just am exactly who I want to be.
45. I'm good at the many things that I do, and when I just believe that--I can set any crowded room on fire.

Things About Me That Are So Many Levels Of Not Special:
1. I am white
2. I am a woman
3. My family is very wealthy
4. I'm straight
5. I've never had *** with a woman
6. I've had my heart absolutely broken in half several times
7. I've broken hearts absolutely in half several times
8. I've lied
9. I've cheated
10. I was a clepto as a teen, not because I didn't have money but because I loved the rush and stuff.
11. I've said hateful things
12. I feel trapped by my parents at times
13. I'm an artist
14. I'm "poor" (quotation marks!)
15. When I speak, I often think as I am speaking that I don't make any ******* sense
16. I tell myself more often than I should that I'm not intelligent
17. I've forgotten the valuable education I learned in high school
18. I nod and agree when I don't understand
19. I was molested when I was 15
20. I should read more
21. For being a filmmaker, I really need to step up my film watching game
22. I'm very impatient
23. I tend to hurt others without even meaning to. But half the time I make up the hurt in my head
24. My paranoia is crippling
25. I have so much I want to do and often overwhelm myself to the point I don't get it done
26. I have blonde hair
27. I'm 5'7
28. I'm thin
29. Its hard for me to let go of the past
30. I loved high school
31. I liked college
32. I've been abused by a boyfriend
33. I pick fights with new lovers to test them
34. I worry about things other people would never even think of
35. When a relationship ends, I grieve for a long time
36. I've been cheated on
37. Men have tricked me into thinking they were someone else because they wanted me so much
38. When I show my inner demons I worry they will retreat, Marilyn Monroe complex
39. I think really cruel things very casually in my mind about myself at least once a day, I don't know where this stems from
40. I obsess over the details and lines in my face. This is a recent endeavor. I hate it.
41. I can tell exactly how tired I am because of this.
42. Spending money on getting my work noticed
43. Wishing for more
44. Never settling or choosing
45. Getting in my own way and thinking the rest of the world is out to get me when they are the lead character of their own story.