I am afraid that your fingers
Would grasp mine
In the precise way
That his used to

And I am scared
That the inflection in your voice
Will resonate in my brain
As all the same

But, to tell you the truth
I don't want you to be him
I don't want to do the same things
With you that I did with him
After all, it never worked out
I'm just scared this won't either
And I'm scared that you're not the right one

What changed in those days?
The time we spent together
Was it the look in your eyes or the weather?
The heat of summer and long conversation?
Out until early morning
Discussing the way we both like
Sitting in cars during rainstorms
Being immersed by the water
Sitting silently in that moment
Letting the world fold around us

Yet it terrifies me to think that you'll be too close
I don't want to let you in
Subconsciously I have shut down my heart
You're knocking ever so patiently
I just have turned on a lamp
Feigning hospitality
When all I feel is hostility
Because I don't know how to remove the deadbolt
When you bring your hands to my heart
And I feel the thumping in my chest

I want to invite you in
To have a cup of coffee
Just to meet you halfway
To take a chance on something
It may be good
Or it may be devastating