In the grips of the monster again.
He lurks inside the darkness within.
Sometimes he’s dormant, sleeping so sound.
Then he rears his head and drags me right down.
It feels like I’m drowning and cannot breathe,
And I’m fighting for something, a little reprieve,
But the monster he holds me within his clutch.
I try to break free, but stay locked in his touch.

When I’m his slave, nothing can be done,
To shed light on my world, not even the sun.
Engulfed in the darkness, consumed by the night.
It feels no one can save me from this dreary plight,
So I shut the world out and shut myself in,
For the monster’s dwelling inside my skin,
And he holds he down and drains me of tears,
While feeding my insecurities and fears.

He comes out of hiding and decides to play.
These are the scariest of all of my days.
He makes it impossible for me to live life,
And fills my soul with indescribable strife.
I can’t face the day and can’t face myself.
Yes, the monster gets pleasure out of this hell,
And try as I might I cannot escape,
For this is my life and this is my fate.

How can you run from what hides inside?
You can’t so instead I just choose to hide.
Hide from the world since I can’t hide from me,
And I never can tell where the monster will be.
In my heart or my brain or maybe my soul,
Or maybe he’ll take over me as a whole.
That’s what I fear most for that can’t be escaped.
The monster will destroy all in its wake.

So I fight to control the monster within.
Sometimes I lose and sometimes I win,
But the war’s never over for the monster inside,
And it will not be over until the day that I die.
I will fight and I’ll struggle and I’ll own this war,
And in the end I’ll know what it’s all for,
But one thing’s for sure this monster’s my own.
He is my enemy and I am his home.