This is a formal complaint to one Cupid on behalf of the population of earth.
We find that you've become somewhat, how can we put it mildly.... unsavory ever since you started drinking. We've found that you have not been taking your job seriously at all since that time
We were understanding at first. Your job? It's not an easy one. It tolerates almost no failure, and requires both physical and mental capacity that is beyond what most of us can spare.
However...we feel that the alcohol is affecting your judgement and character in a way that we can no longer accept. Below, we've listed the particularly heinous abuses of your power
1. Taking bets on what you can make people fall in love with. John is now smitten with a cactus while Jenny can't stay away from the inflatable Santa Claus on the Morgans' lawn. 2. Having very attractive women fall in love for your...erm...personal pleasure. That's just offensive 3. Having members of the same family fall in love. The vulgarity of it all is just appalling! It's an ****** epidemic! 4. Shooting your arrows at Rhinoceroses and then laughing as they charge a poor unsuspecting person is not funny. 5. Likewise, shooting an unsuspecting person and having them fall in love with a Rhinoceros who doesn't reciprocate is equally unfunny 6. Last, but not least...Please fix the Republican Candidates. Mitt Romney and Rick ******* are trying to get married next week. While I'm happy that they are now "for" gay marriage, this cannot be tolerated.
So? Do you have anything to say for yourself? Is that alcohol I smell on your breath? You don't even care, do you? Well...we have no choice but to revok---OW!