Nope I… can’t reminisce on a love I never had
When I think of the other jokers who’ve loved me in my past
I just laugh
Mostly to cover up the sad
All of this is written vividly in my numerous notepads

Experiencing those losers has definitely made me bitter
I guess I knew how to pick the bad cats out of the litter
Now me opening up is harder to obtain
Those painful love lessons I learned still linger on my brain
So after every other kiss- I can’t help but to wonder:
Whose lips do I taste?
Although I know you wouldn’t betray me like that,
I often question your motives with haste
And after every other hug (no matter how snug)
I still debate whether you’re really pulling away
Although I want you, dare I say it- need you to stay

I guess for me, 2nd guessing is the cost of me finally having
A good man instead of a good lay
So truthfully some days I wonder:  when will the other shoe drop?
I know my doubts that you are the real deal really need to stop
But in case you’re wondering, my hesitation stems
From the thought that I may have again just stupidly bought
Another well played well planned line
I pray that you won’t be a waste of my time
And I know that you are asking yourself why I flash back on my heartbreak
Like a button it’s stuck on rewind

Yes between you and I
There’s a secret hope I harbor
That my issues won’t cause you to flee
Instead opting not to be bothered
But I’ve never been in love with a MAN like you
I have to pinch myself from time to time
To make sure it’s true

I’d agree that I have fallen
You have reeled me in, hook-line- and sinker
But despite my hearts “lovey-dovey” intuition,
I can’t help but to be a morbid thinker
It’s as if I am protecting myself from being caught out there
I’ve decided to ditch the recklessness of my past
Instead choosing to come prepared
To be let down, abandoned, cheated on, abused
Used and manipulated
Although I’m captivated
Don’t get it twisted- I still have fears I mean everyone has flaws right?
It’s about when and where they will appear.
But despite how I act, even I know
That the love you are giving me is no show
Those past “loves” don’t hold a candle to your brand of dedication
I don’t mean to give you complications.

So know when I shut down, it’s never to shut you out
Please don’t take it personal
If instead of enjoying this good thing I find new reasons to shout
Excuse me baby – its habit
And a horrible one at that
Normally if it starts out just like a fairy tale it turns into a nightmare fast.
But then again I never HAD a Man like you
I have to pinch myself from time to time to make sure it’s truth.
I beg you to have patience and to use your actions
instead of your words to show and prove
So there’s my disclaimer I hope you can now understand why
If you want me and this heart…
You’ll have to fight to get inside.
Ms. Bliss