You know, you're never here anymore
You're hardly ever sober
And you're making all these memories
That everyone but you can remember

'Why do you always get so ****** up?'
- they ask
And you don't know what to say
Because you ask the mirror the same question
And she just laughs but her eyes are
Somber and kind of frightened,
Even though you know you're never scared of anything.

I don't drink because I'm sad like I used to
I don't need drugs because it hurts too much
I guess I just like the risk. The freedom.
The inability to make rational decisions.

They say you can't escape your own mind
But I have found a way.

And strange boys take the love you didn't want
And I know it's not love but I can pretend for the night
And your kiss has been replaced too many times to count,

But still you're the only love I ever write about.