I wish I could explain it
To the ppl that have never
Been restricted, or afflicted
By being addicted, but forever

I'm left alone, not seen as clever
And the only time I feel better
Depression seized and Anxiety free,
That plagues me, is whenever

I get high, and deny I'll ever
Be able to function or cope
With sobriety in society,
Cuz to numb pain, I need dope

Otherwise I only get false hope
Causing me only to relapse
If not, my nerves are shot,
But deep down I always ask

If I really want to be controlled
By a drug, and never heal
I wanna be happy without feeling
Like I need drugs to not feel

The pain stained on my brain
But I just can't take the stress
The drug sickness, mood swings
Withdrawals, with cold sweats

I don't wanna to be a slave but
I don't want to stop the only
Thing that gives me salvation
From feeling pain, or when lonely

And maybe the truth is,
Deep down, and hard to admit
.. But in all honesty, I say i want to
Stop, when truth is I won't quit

But lie to myself and say
Maybe one day, I will
I just hope that one day isn't the
Same day I am killed

Cuz maybe only death can stop
The addiction that I fight
If I really want to stop I would
Wouldn't i... Why can't I right

What seems to be wrong
Why can't I be strong
.. Maybe I've been the only thing
Stopping me from quitting all along