when i'm depressed
there's always the signifier.
the ****** thumbs,
the scabby lips,
the sleeping in late
or never sleeping in the first place.

"depressed" is
a heavy heart and
sick mind
a stinging thumb
and the taste of blood

is being torn in half
"you're fine"
and "you're not"
is empty eyes and
constricted throat
dried up vocal chords
dying to break free
but choking on themselves
when asked to explain
why they
sit alone
waiting,
listening,
to nothing and
everything.

is eyes that wander
to everything they can inhale
but whisper past
the one thing they long for
they're large and blue and
love to hurt

is twisting your
already twisted spine
to sleep on a rickety thing
you know will hurt but you do it anyway
because happiness needs
underlying shades of darkness*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~