I just want to let go of everything, feelings, emotions.

"You've never had it together."

It was only a joke, but wasn't it true?

I'm so ridiculously easy, and I don't even realize it. Why not spare myself the hurt? Why not push for a life alone?

I'm better alone.

No one to hurt and no one to make feel guilty and no one to constantly ask me if I need anything and no one to love me.

It's better that way.

Excuse me while I go choke on my words and my thoughts in a bathroom stall and shake until I can't feel my fingers.

It's better this way.

Excuse my while I lean against the cold stall wall and wonder why I'm even here, why my heart and my head hurt me so much.

It's better this way.

Excuse me while I try and drown the emotions that have been drowning me since day one.

It's better this way.

For everyone. But for me?

No, it was never a question.