She still smiles at the way he laid in her lap.
Or at least the memory of it

She still cries when she thinks of him calling her a liar
Because she always told him the truth

She still smiles when she thinks of the way he held her
And how it was the only place she felt safe

She still cries remembering him leaving her for the 8th time or so
Wonders if he knew how broken she was in the end

She still smiles when she thinks of their grand plans
Such a beautiful future

She still cries when she imagines the child she could not share with him
Her first love, whose child would've been beautiful

She still smiles at the thought of his name and wonders
Does he ignore it when he hears my name called out
Or does he grimace, am I memories to him anymore?

Are they good, bad or totally forgotten, am I just a shadow
Of what once was, am I the memories?