Aug 2016
Today is my birthday and to celebrate my parents have thrown me a party. Unfortunately no one came. I spent my day of birth, a rather exciting day if I do say so myself, by myself, it would appear that no one else would agree with my excitement. I thought I had friends, not many, but I thought that they cared about me. I guess not. I suppose I wasn’t completely alone for my biggest fan and greatest supporter showed up, a person I’m proud to call my mother, but where’s my father? Why hasn’t he shown? I asked my mother where my father is and she says nothing, but instead hands me a present with a card attached. I open the card to see a sloppily written paragraph of nonsense attached to it.
“My dearest son, I apologize I couldn’t be at your party, I’m sorry I couldn’t celebrate your birthday with you, I hope you’re not too mad at me. I unfortunately have bad news for you and your mother. I’m afraid I have left and have no intentions of returning, I am sorry my boy, and I hope the contents of this package help ease the pain. I need you to know that I am not angry at you and my leaving isn’t your fault. You’re a man now and I need you to act like one and take care of your mother in my absence, I love you son, I didn’t wish to tell you like this, but **** happens, right?
Signed with love,
Your father”
My heart broke in a millions pieces and I can see that my mother’s did as well as soon as I relayed this unsavory message unto her. She cried and ran off into the house, I sat frozen, tears rolling down my face, fingers trembling trying to open the present that was supposed to ease the burden my father placed upon my shoulders. I ripped the poorly wrapped package open and tore the box ***** open so that I may gaze upon my redemption. It was an old model train set, specifically the one my father had bought for me ten years ago on my eighth birthday, the one I had wished for, the one my father helped me assemble in the living room, the one that helped create the warmest of memories for not only me, but my father. How did my father think this would ease the blow? How could he be so selfish and self-centered? These were questions only he could answer and according to the card, I wasn’t getting answers anytime soon.
I no longer remained frozen, now a new feeling came across me. It was the perfect combination of cold and warm. It ignited my hatred and froze my feelings of self-love. I went inside the house and headed straight for my parent’s room, specifically aiming for the box in the closet, for it contained my father’s old .357 handgun. I went downstairs and back into the yard. I pressed the gun against my temple and shouted to the heavens “I’m sorry father for I have let you down, I am not the man you think I am, I must leave mother alone the same way you have left me alone.”
Holding the gun firmly with my finger on the trigger, I pull it releasing myself from the pain my father bestowed upon me, in the same motion I now bestow pain upon my mother, who now bears the pain of loneliness.
This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go, but hey, **** happens, right?
“My dearest son, I apologize I couldn’t be at your party, I’m sorry I couldn’t celebrate your birthday with you, I hope you’re not too mad at me. I unfortunately have bad news for you and your mother. I’m afraid I have left and have no intentions of returning, I am sorry my boy, and I hope the contents of this package help ease the pain. I need you to know that I am not angry at you and my leaving isn’t your fault. You’re a man now and I need you to act like one and take care of your mother in my absence, I love you son, I didn’t wish to tell you like this, but **** happens, right?
Signed with love,
Your father”
My heart broke in a millions pieces and I can see that my mother’s did as well as soon as I relayed this unsavory message unto her. She cried and ran off into the house, I sat frozen, tears rolling down my face, fingers trembling trying to open the present that was supposed to ease the burden my father placed upon my shoulders. I ripped the poorly wrapped package open and tore the box ***** open so that I may gaze upon my redemption. It was an old model train set, specifically the one my father had bought for me ten years ago on my eighth birthday, the one I had wished for, the one my father helped me assemble in the living room, the one that helped create the warmest of memories for not only me, but my father. How did my father think this would ease the blow? How could he be so selfish and self-centered? These were questions only he could answer and according to the card, I wasn’t getting answers anytime soon.
I no longer remained frozen, now a new feeling came across me. It was the perfect combination of cold and warm. It ignited my hatred and froze my feelings of self-love. I went inside the house and headed straight for my parent’s room, specifically aiming for the box in the closet, for it contained my father’s old .357 handgun. I went downstairs and back into the yard. I pressed the gun against my temple and shouted to the heavens “I’m sorry father for I have let you down, I am not the man you think I am, I must leave mother alone the same way you have left me alone.”
Holding the gun firmly with my finger on the trigger, I pull it releasing myself from the pain my father bestowed upon me, in the same motion I now bestow pain upon my mother, who now bears the pain of loneliness.
This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go, but hey, **** happens, right?
