There is part of me
That cannot figure things out
I know it is there
But I cannot get to know it
It is my node of confusion
My spinning top
Ever whirring
Beaten by external forces

A part of me
That is lost for ever
Numbed, isolated, defeated and shipwrecked
An injured butterfly
Frail, uncertain

I wish I could understand
My deep uncertainty
My sinking groaning silent place

When it takes hold
I miss my mother
I miss my hope
I miss my self