No movement, thoughts, or heartbeat.
By all standards I should be dead
But I'm not
I'm full of worries and anxiety
Full of expectations for the worst
These are what keep me alive, and **** me.
I can't move for fear of judgement
No thoughts in case of differing opinions
Heartbeats are forbidden because someone may hear and they can hurt me from there
How can you expect me to smile when all I see are others like me, zombies, living ghosts?
All I can see is their pain and I can feel it, it's all that I can feel besides my own anxiety.
How do I live when I'm not afraid of dying?
And how the hell do I stay when all I want to do is leave?!?
I don't want to worry.
I don't want to be sad anymore and I can't have anxiety about my life.
If someone doesn't save me I'll die all the way.
Except this time it won't be because of my demons it'll be the cause of the absence of a protector.
I wasn't meant to be saved.
I wasn't born for good things and this is it.
Goodbye.
But don't worry I left a long time ago and you never noticed