What if I told you I think I have a brain tumor?
And that I’ve tried to make contact with the chosen one?
And that my sense of self has been over-ridden by a sense of community?
And that suddenly I’m worried about being on a show called, “This is my life?”
And that they asked me, “How many people have you helped?”
What would I say?
How many witnesses would there be against me?
What if every person I didn’t help but could have was there?
What if every person I hurt was there?
What if they remembered each moment as if it happened yesterday?
What could I say?
How could I justify any of it?
I don’t have any witnesses
Not that many anyway
Maybe a few here and there
But what if God brought forward people who didn’t believe in him?
And asked me why they can be so good and I so bad even though I've tried to believe?
And what if he asked me why I stole those flip-flops back in 1981?
And what if he asked me why I lied to that girl about what I really did that night?
And what if he asked me why I try to ****** every pretty girl I meet?
And what if he asked me why I rejected his son?
And what if he asked me why I couldn’t get along with the two women I married?
And what if he asked me why I only thought of myself?
What would I say?
What could I say?
But you know
I don’t really have a brain tumor
At least I hope not
My head just hurts so much though
And now I’m thinking I’m ******
Because even after going through my mock trial
I haven’t changed
I mean Peter denied Jesus three times even though he saw it with his own eyes
And the Jews mocked God even though they saw a pillar of fire
And Judas betrayed Jesus even though he knew the truth
How can I be expected to be so good and I don’t know the truth
How can I be expected to be so good when I am born under original sin?
How can I be expected to be so good when I am a sinner?
How man?
HOW??????