i would beat myself up over you
but i'm trying to be good now
you know
that thing people like us try to tell ourselves we can be.
yeah.
i like being bad a little more then you do
but it makes your **** hard
so you're okay with it.
yeah.
you see there are repercussions to everything and if i let you
inside
you would
open
up
and
tug at my baby hands
and hold me close like i am just a child
with nightmares in the middle of the night
and
im not sure im okay with that
or rather im not sure i can permit that.
again.
you see brown eyed boy
i still have a life to live
i can't tempt myself with what ifs
and
you are the biggest temptation of all.
It would be only a matter of time before you'd lead me back down the self destructive path
one way or another
or perhaps
we would foolishly lead each other
hand in hand
oh so in love with the feeling of love
so i guess this is my apology in advance
my apology to the universe
i hope
you hear it on the wind someday far off in the future
when you've finally grown into your limbs and no longer think of me
because i'm not sure
my lips could ever be able to properly say the right words aloud.