mother dearest
complicated friend
i hear your sister's whispers
through your closed mouth criticisms
i hear the mirror has broken your heart
for 50 years in it's clear metallic honesty
but honestly who cares what you see
if you could create a someone else
to be another yourself
clothed in something new everyday
you'll dream of the ironing board
and this home as an ever changing cloak
endless newness in property
mother pardon me but
i hear you welded your tear ducts shut
after that college ****
drank a full fifth of *****
and ruined your future of
crunching numbers in a pencil skirt
that must have hurt
i hear you hate old Polaroids
with hidden smiles from the past
because old memories don't last like
shiny new wood floors
and staying indoors
it means that
the onlookers eyes cant criticize
so send your girl into the world
to live as you would have pleased
mother i hear that spontaneity
did you wrong and is that true
please answer after frugal thinking
i hear that you learned to cultivate
stubborn symbols in the womb
because the world is always trying to hurt you
mother why is the world trying to hurt you
when you only hide and
trace sketches of a world where
you had tried to hurt it back
i'm sorry that you cant relax
and i wish i could provide that
continue to look after careful creatures making clones
all while staring down pictures of your own

i genuinely apologize that we both couldn't be the best version of you