I'd love to just message her and say

"I love you,  I have since I first saw you, and it ***** that I have had to sit and watch you be
abused, mistreated, hated, and left;

When I want nothing more than to make you smile.
You don't know how much it hurts,
when you start talking about someone who you love

Yet you forget I exist and I have to pretend to be all happy
When all I really want to do is sit and cry,

And I smile, but it's bittersweet,
Because I'm happy when you're happy, but I wish I was the reason you're happy and I know I'm never gonna be. And it *****, I love you space ranger"

I can't tell her that, no matter how much I want, because it's not fair on her