If silence came upon
The heart’s cry for more,
I would be an unstoppable force.
But this dead end and it's disregard
Renders me halted in my course.

To confess,
I want you like I want a drug
To numb the nagging pain.
Through valleys my being is dragged
And so adds to every stain.
I live and work in the shadows of
Discontent.
Here, I am not myself,
I do not belong.
And unto my heart is much disdain
As silenced becomes my song.
I want you like I want relief
From this rugged, jagged
Path I walk.
Relief, however or not so brief,
I do not care, for I desire to
Escape this sad normality.
Chasing, reaching, futility
'Til every dawn.
Again, I command myself to
Forget and move on.
Ludicrous...
To consistently pursue the ones
Who fall short of repaying regard.
Still, I let down my guard.
Surely this fool deserves a bit better
Still I tell myself the contrary -
That I am not good enough,
Until such lies are believed.
Until I stand at another
Dead end.
To the unforeseen, vain affections are sent
In hopes of receiving its equal.
Over backwards, becoming bent.
To this misfortune, heart to lend...
To another dead end.
And once again that nagging question:
Why such a pattern?
Dragging morale into
Secession,
Delivering not pleasure but
External concern.
It dances about, continuing
On and on...
Extinguishing hope of cultivating
An intimate bond.
On and on,
Another dead end.
Dear soul, quit your seeking!
For through the cracks of heartache,
Precious time is seeping.
And glorious gloom...
Once again creeping.
Still, in constant longing I am...
Oh, what I would give
To not give a ****!
To give all I own
With desire also taken.
Affection, sweet affection -
Hydration to the soul...
The sweetest infection.
Where to escape this longing,
Please, point the direction.
An end must come to these daydreams -
A hand stroking my hair,
Waking up no longer alone.
Hand against skin so fair…
Cast my daydreams to stone.
Failure to be emotionally resilient -
An ongoing lament.

So weather the storm,
Steady on course!
Fall for no one,
Feel no remorse.
Play no card, take no form.
Conquer the task of
Becoming the storm.

If silence came upon
The heart’s cry for more,
I would be an unstoppable force.
But this dead end and it's disregard
Renders me halted in my course...