I had a picture in my head of how my family was supposed to look like.
Smiling faces.
My parents getting along.
No screaming.
I’m not sure why I thought that my family would be happy, funny and have a good life.
I learned early on that this wasn’t the case, I’m afraid to grow up and have a marriage that ends, have screaming in the house and have my kids wishing they could be dead.
Because that’s what my childhood was like.
I’m afraid to have kids, even though people say I’m nothing like my parents, people think I will be a good mother.
How can I be a good mom when I didn’t have one myself?
Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming my mom, she did the best she could.