one can never be
too careful
in open recollections of
what they see when
they are sleeping

we sat in one of the
middle pews
in a church I attended
as a child
you held my hand
& kissed my hair

then we were on
my couch
while my fingers traced
the back of your neck
bare
& so forgiving

real or not real?

could have sworn you looked
happy

but they say everyone in
your dreams
is only a reflection of
yourself

which is very clear
to me
when I wake up and you're
not around

it makes me feel
obsessed
pathetic
mad
vicious
& weird with want
a criminal
laden with a seven year
desire

& the days spent
thereafter
are anxious and very
low

they really ought to
medicate me
too much truth for my
tongue to be telling
maybe soon I'll start calling
you by your
name