I finally decided to pick up my pen again
I don’t know where to start or where to begin
So much has happen since the last time I wrote
I manage to hold on, I manage to cope
I began to look around at the situation at hand
Trying to figure it out, trying hard to understand

On one side of me there’s this pain
And the other side bears so much rain
It’s hard to look up when the tears consonantly fall
It’s hard to feel big when you feel so small
The more my pen wrote the way that I feel
It put life into reality and I knew it was real
I couldn't handle the emotional state my pen brought
I couldn't handle the truth that entered my thoughts

So I gave up on writing and threw my pen away
Not knowing that these thoughts
Would come to mind again one day
I find myself setting here holding this pen
Tightly but firmly with all my strength in my hand
While my thoughts run freely like grains of sand
Afraid to write not knowing what will come out
Afraid to believe and afraid to even doubt

I vowed never to use this pen; never not again
It brings out the worse that suddenly has no end
I have to face the facts that no one quite
Understands me the way that my pen does
It shows me love and all the hatred in this world
If I fail to use my pen I will overflow with thoughts
Hidden from the truth and somehow forever lost
When I picked up my pen I realize it doesn't judge
It doesn't feed on hatred and never grant less love

So here I am with my pen working hard again
Putting thoughts on paper that simply has no end
May be my thoughts can help someone else
Maybe I’ll find me deep within myself
I don’t know what all this pen will say
Neither what it will tell me to write down today
I am anxious and my patient is wearing thin
Because I realize that in my hand
Here lies my pen once again.