here lies a void,
like an unfinished book.
starting was never my intent.
the cover was bright and beautiful.
each page was a revelation, a new hope.
somewhere towards the middle, i began to feel uneasy.
like it had become part of me.
everything before it was lost
in a haze of obsession.
it was everything I wanted and everything i didn't.
i tried to cease. it didn't work.
I would reach for it in my sleep.
it stopped me, without my consent.
although i felt a relief,
I was not relieved.
it knew better than to let me finish
i was the poison in the bloodstream.
now i am left with the ill feeling of loss
while it remains unchanged, unscarred and unfinished.