I’ve been thinking of names. Of faces. Of familiar voices. I wanted human touch. I needed human touch. I’ve always been crying in my own arms. Always. If not mine, I’m crying on my pillow thanking God he was the only one who knew my thoughts. My feelings. He was always there. I don’t know what would  I do if he wasn’t.

     Today, I woke up feeling vague. I felt like there was a hole in my heart I forced to plug with who knows what. Then I suddenly found myself tearing up. I just could not accept the fact that someone had been pretending. Someone had always been pretending and I didn’t know. I had no idea. I wish I had noticed it before it devoured me.
     This gave me a lot of pain more than any unrequited feelings I have ever felt. I have only come to know that being lied to was the worst thing one could feel.

I, too, am pretentious. But not that pretentious.