You held me Like you have held me Like you do hold me Like you love me Like you want to be with me
You kissed my neck Like you love me Like you care about me Like you adore me Like you want my warmth in your arms
You tell me Tell all you want is For me to be happy For me to smile again For me to stop making myself bleed Every night.
But if you close your eyes And you listen to me You feel my hand in yours You listen to what your heart is telling you You will know
Please know Despite the fact that you think Every time you pull me closer I feel better I hate myself less, I feel worse I know you don't want me I know you don't love me I know you are scared of what I am capable of doing Capable of doing to myself Capable of doing to you
You made me want to attack Peel away all the skin left Rip out the ****** remains of what used to be My heart Bury it in the ground A place for it to live Finally settled Wrapped in white linen blood stained brown
Flashbacks Your hands on my neck Lips on my cheek Fingers interlaced in your hair A dark room Moments of perfection Eyes closed Losing the moments quicker Than ice melting
Reality A punch in the stomach Gasping for breath Tears Stinging in my mouth Your eyes on my Wounds Battle scars Open Gaping Bleeding
You broke down my walls With a wrecking ball of glass and Apologies How many times now? How many times have you put me though this? How many times have you lied to me? How many times have you been the reason for my bleeding arms? How many times have you held me like a lover When you didn't love me? How many?
I am being haunted with flashbacks Flashbacks of you And the way you loved me The way you've tortured me But I can't let go I will never be able to let go.