It's been a year.
A soul wrenching
Heart ripping year
I find myself at times
Wishing
You were still part of this earth
Yet.
To have you here
In the pain you were in,
Not knowing what you were worth
Would be selfish,
And more painful for you
Than this.
I know you are free
And send signs you are here
With me.
When I cry
I can feel you hug me tight
And whisper to me
Mom, it will be alright
Then a feather you leave
Right by my feet
Where I sit on the porch
To feel you with me
I know you had
your own journey
Your own plan
But to know the pain
You were living in,
And peace you could not attain
Is what I grieve
the most these days.
To know your child
Was so lost that he died
Is more than I can bear
Please forgive me
For not seeing thru
To your agony and despair
I know I couldn't fix you
I know I did my best
But the mother in me
Doesn't believe the rest
I wanted to save you
From yourself
I wanted you...
To want to, too.
I pray in the next life
Your journey is calm
Your soul is free
And as peaceful as a psalm
So journey on
My beautiful son
I'll love you
Until the last setting sun❤️

July 12, 2016