God! I am sick and tired
of the grueling energy
it takes to be "ok"

I'm not fine. I'm not good.
I'm burned to the quick
I'm hopeless
I'm lost and abandoned

I'm jagged edges
And the pools of blue
In my head are soulless.
An abyss of self-loathing

I don't want to cry anymore
I don't want to feel
I don't want to be here right now
I want to be anywhere but here

But I hide behind an
Ingenuous façade of
Pleases and thank yous
And positive affirmations about
How strong I am.

And I'm sick and tired
Of being OK