your touch is burned into my skin and i
can't get away. you're in my dreams and
every time i close my eyes it's like you're
right back here, in my room, in my head,
in me. silence has become my best friend
and my biggest fear. i have become silent
and afraid. silence brings back every little
memory. your hair was soft and frizzy. at
first i found it endearing. that did not last
long. you were gentle through it all, and it
really confused me. how could something
so gentle be so wrong? i wasn't silent then.
you knew what i wanted, and what i didn't.
maybe if i had been silent things wouldn't
have happened. maybe if i'm silent now i
can pretend it didn't happen. maybe if no
one knows and no one cares, maybe then i
can stop knowing. stop caring. stop seeing
your face everywhere i go. stop flinching if
i ever hear your name. it feels like you stole
my voice. you're gone, but you're still here.
you'll never leave and you'll never listen to
me. i said no. you said yes. and that's what
mattered.