I’ve been thinking about death a lot.
Particularly suicide,
And I don’t want you to think it’s in that dark drab way;
It’s not.


It’s much more romantic than that.
Yes, I’ve been seducing death.
Or rather, she’s been seducing me.


How much easier it’d be
If I jumped in the water
Held my head under
And tried to breathe.


That liberating moment
When the water fills my lungs


And I don’t have to be confined
To this life of songs sung
To gods of death.
Whose followers wear death on chains
That the dangle around their neck.



I don’t want to be confined
To this life, where those whose piety is determined
By how loud they can tell you
How awful you are.



I don’t want to be confined
To this life of always waiting for what’s coming next
Never experiencing.
Nothing’s ever good enough.



I don’t want to be confined
To this life without you.
And eternity in hell
Is what you condemned me to.



I take solace in the fact
That once my lungs are filled
With that salty ocean brew,
I’ll no longer have to
Think of you.