It was so hard to hang up the phone with so much emptiness in between our words we could barely say goodbye . it was at that moment at a drop of a hat i couldn't bare to remember it was i that pushed her away. She held me up for so long i forgot what it was like to hit rock bottom until i did. I didn't hit it like i use to i couldn't put the brakes down fast enough that i scraped both my knees hitting it with so much force i forgot how to speak.
I've died a thousand times but there were never enough body bags to fit the pieces i lost, and she....she kept them for remembering me but i guess she forgot about what happens when one dies because she eventually started to smell like rotting flesh with a dash of formaldehyde.
Months later i saw her walking around her skin flaking off every inch of her body. She never got the memo that being fragile is what gets you killed. She spent so much time with the pieces of me that i think she caught the death that emanated from my very pores.
Watching someone die  slowly and painfully is not what everyone says it is. Your bones do not creak one morning when your not lying next to her, waking up from the one night stands that fill the space between my emotions and i. She told me that's why we never lasted.
I wish i had never swallowed every pill, drank every bottle i put onto the wall for others to sing about, because the coroner found the overdose in the bed of her stomach.
99 bottles of beer on the wall take one down pass it around 100 bottles of beer. I guess i finally beat my record.