140 sunsets, 16,128,000 heartbeats, a few nights of crying myself to sleep, and many "i'm over it's" later and the memory of you is still everywhere. It still exists in my great, big, vast imagination and in the most obscure spots of my reality. No matter how much i try to take you out and erase you from every part of me, you stay. You stick. A permanent imprint on my heart, on my body, on my soul. I see you in every sunset, the reds and oranges and pinks remind me of fall, they remind me of september and sundays and the blood dripping from my bottom lip. I remember when we would lay down together, you would sleep and i would hold you. I would twirl my fingers in your hair and look at your chest, rising and falling. I would try to match your breaths, to slow down my heart and match yours. To move together. Sometimes i wonder if the drumming in your chest still matches mine, i really hope it does. On the nights filled with sobs and tears, i would talk to you. Through the dark i whispered to you, a couple miles across the bed. "I miss you. let me come see you, tell me you love me (even if you dont) cause i still love you." It may seem silly, but if you felt your heart jump or your stomach sink on a late night in march, it was my words finally reaching you. And with all of the anger that had built up in me, please don't think any of it was directed at you. Harsh words may have left my lips, but trust me, only feelings of love resided in my chest for you. I was angry at fate, at myself, at every person and thing that wedged it's way between us. I was angry at everything but you, it was just too difficult to explain. You are still here, despite the months that have passed. They say time heals everything, but your memory is here to stay.