It's been weeks, maybe months, im not all that sure. I've been going through the motions, trying to distract myself, **** my tears in, paint the corners of my mouth up to my cheeks. Trying to look strong, independent, trying to look just fine. Because that's how i've pictured you. When i see you, which is only in my head anymore, i see you with a big smile and both hands full of joy. I see your eyes even bluer since the last time i looked into them, I see your hair with the ghost of my fingers twirled in between. I see you, happier, more care free than ever. You look free. Free of me. I hope i look free of you. I hope i make it seem like i'm okay with the fact that you're not here anymore. I hope you don't see right through me. I hope i'm fooling everyone.