writing poetry in second person is easier
because then you don't have to face your own fears.
writing poetry in second person is easier
because then you don't have to face your own feelings.

your basement is haunted with more than just your own soul
the lights flicker every time you forget
to remind the monsters under your bed
that you get a 10 second head-start after the lights are turned off.

you keep track of the moon's phases because you know
that somewhere out there, she's staring up at the same sky
and you want to close your eyes and picture how moonlight
reflects off of her moonlight hair, stars in her midday eyes.

you haven't looked yourself in the eye for a very long time now,
unable to bring yourself to take in more than
the fleeting moment of a mirror reflection. nothing is worse
than a dark phone screen. unintentional observation of what you want to forget.

you want to forget.
you're so terrified of the thought of spending eighty- to
one hundred-K for four years of college that you can't even begin to
imagine what exactly you would dedicate a degree to.
is anything worth that much? you change your mind so easily.

you want to tuck her hair behind her ears,
but she always wears it tied back. the same shade of brown as her eyes.
she's so unattainable that you've settled for just being friends with her,
being in the same space as her, listening to her talk about her home
and wishing that you had the same kind of place for your heart to go.

you're scared of the dark.
you're scared of commitment.
you're scared of the future.
you're scared of the past.
you're scared of your own reflection.
you're scared of your own eyes.
you're scared of never feeling comfortable in your own skin.
it has never felt like your own.
you have never known comfort in your own bones.
they've been the construction crew of too many
of the skeletons in your closet, tucked between stuffed animals and long sleeves.

it's easier to write poetry in second person,
because sometimes i like to pretend like i'm not the one feeling things.
it's easier to write poetry in second person,
because sometimes i'm not sure if i'm ever actually feeling anything.