When I was a child

I dreamed of being an actress.

Now I find that’s exactly what I am.

Every word I say

to every person everyday

is just a line.

How can I tell the truth

when I don’t even know who

would be telling it.

The person I pretend to be

changes with my company.

I can only be myself when I’m alone.

I can’t believe they don’t see through

all these different masks I use,

but somehow they don’t.

I’m so shocked to hear them say

that I always seem okay

and happy all the time.

Many times I would like to

show them how untrue

that statement really is.

But I know that would be

nothing but trouble for me.

There would be too much to explain,

like all the lies I told

to keep the secrets that I hold,

and who I am beneath those lies.

So I will hold my tongue

and just let everyone

believe what they want to.

And I’ll keep up my act

and let everyone think that

I have no problems at all.

I’ll be whoever they expect.

They’ll never have to see the wreck

that’s hiding underneath.

I’ll build a person from the ground

using pieces I have found

in their ideas of me.

My many flaws will never show

and they will never have to know

that I am nothing but smoke.