waves of unwashed
untamed hair
roll over my shoulders
tears of undiscovered bravery
sting my eyes
and spill onto my cheeks
dripping off my lips
staining my shirt

fingers  heart  mind
t r e m b l i n g
screams of disbelief
spill like blood from my mouth
and shatter
silently
against the floor

news from the doctors
stop my breath in its tracks
condolences fill my head
my heart
and i feel as empty as their words

worlds beyond my own
crash down on top of my shoulders
as the world i call my own
crumbles beneath my feet

and i lose my balance

screaming out loud
ripping my heart from my chest
tearing it apart with my own hands
blaming myself for your actions
looking for a place to stand
for a steady hand
to hold my shattered soul

but this time
there are no hands
there is no escape
there is not end
to this living hell.