I must have thought of
A thousand phrases and colorful words in my head
I mourned the lack of your support
Quietly but only in singular moments
Lamented it sparingly
But I had to voice it out loud
To verify that you are so little, so small.

You blocked me today
I don't really know what I ever did
Something about who I was before you
And after you
There is a presence and wisdom within me
Within me in the earth
That was consumed with a absent minded naivete
Because my eyes were just less open.

If I spread myself more thin
And circled all the parts of me in red
With just how it hurt
Every time your disappointing, I can't even use the word shadow
Because you are less than a shadow
I must haunt you so deeply
Will you cover up the ink of me?

But the truth of it
Why it hurts and stings
Is because it makes me feel just utter shame
Like I'm not even worth killin'
In you meaning, in your name
So lets continue to hate me
Erase me
I never knew someone who once loved me so much
Could turn to hatred so quickly
But wait

What am I saying?
Yes I do.
He errs and swears
I'm sure his face grows red and hot
I hope he will leave my old apartment with his lover soon
I saw they bought a car together
What a step for mankind
You led me away from his cruelty
Only to shut all my windows and prefer me in the darkness
Because then you don't have to own
That you dug the grave we bore our love in.

I just wanted to hear a "good job"
You did
You're great
Congrats
Silence
Nothing but silence
And then a technological barrier to remind me
That though my heart has always been open
Because I couldn't be the one
The girl that took your drunk calls
And listened to you coo in a boyhood manner
What we would name our children
Or pitter patter in the mildew of temporary happiness
Never ending battles of the same drinking games
Going out and discussing only the past, each other
The rainbow in my hair withered into a flame
Because I needed out so badly
Until you left me
And we changed and evolved
Like Sailor Moon does,
When she uses her powers.

Do you know how many men drop words and phrases
Filled with meaning but they want so much
I look around at the contenders
Your name scratched out in a ***** red
I really gave it my all
You'll know
You'll see.

I told you my name would be everywhere.
So block me baby
Theres no dance move
That will save you
Though you dare with new women and *****
Erase last summer, hate her
Can't bare to see photos of her thrive
Or quietly say a million times
Just why you went

I woke up each morning
And your face would be covered in new white heads
I lower my sword
My dagger
My shield
Because theres no fight left in me
Only in you.